


Even The Purest Of Heart Can Fall

by Illusinia



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, M/M, Poe falls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-03
Updated: 2018-02-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 23:14:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13557633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Illusinia/pseuds/Illusinia
Summary: It took a second for him to realize it wasn't just in his head; the room had tilted. He wasn't on the ground, he was in a metal room he didn’t recognize. Panic filled his chest as the adrenaline from before hit, making his head spin worse. He shot up, every muscle in his body screaming at him to move, run, get to Finn.Finn.“Poe.” A voice called his name, hands gripping his shoulders. He tried to fight, tried to push free, but the grip was tight. Too tight to break. “Poe! Please, calm down.”





	Even The Purest Of Heart Can Fall

Bright light burned as he opened his eyes, so much so that he had to close them again. He tried again a moment later, opening his eyes far slower in anticipation of the light. The room swam as he glanced around, a small room with a bunk across from where he lay and little else. It was a room he didn't recognize, but when he tilted his head to try to glance around, he had to shut his eyes once more. 

Everything felt unsteady and tilted. Unnatural. A grogginess he never experienced swarmed his mind and filled his senses. He blinked up once. Twice. Tried to clear his vision to no avail. Everything spun and he could have sworn the room tilted.

It took a second for him to realize it wasn't just in his head; the room had tilted. He wasn't on the ground, he was in a metal room he didn’t recognize. Panic filled his chest as the adrenaline from before hit, making his head spin worse. He shot up, every muscle in his body screaming at him to move, run, get to Finn. 

Finn.

“Poe.” A voice called his name, hands gripping his shoulders. He tried to fight, tried to push free, but the grip was tight. Too tight to break. “Poe! Please, calm down.”

His eyes snapped up, brown meeting hazel. It took him a moment to recognize the person gripping his arms was Rey, his mind reeling as he tried to break through the fog that seemed to surround him.

Words hovered on his tongue, thick in his mouth. His lips wouldn't respond though; wouldn't form the shapes he needed to speak. It took a moment for him to swallow and successfully voice his thoughts. “Finn. Where's Finn?”

For a moment, Rey just stared at him sadly before her hands slid down to take his. “Poe, I'm sorry. He didn't make it.”

For a moment, his mind blanked. Finn was...dead? No, that couldn't- 

An image flashed in his mind. 

Rough stone caves, shaking ground. Pounding boots. The first order was coming and they had no way out. Snap, Jess, his squadron, they were all dead. Lost when the hanger exploded. His hand was in Finn’s, pulling the other man along as they tried to find a way out. The others are behind him, he can hear them running with them. There’s a few blaster shots, but he can’t tell if anyone has been hit. 

Ahead, the vulptices swooped through the tunnels, bounding and dodging between the rocks that littered the floors. Then they hit the rock wall, a collapsed portion of the tunnel trapping them in place. The storm troopers were coming behind them; he could hear their boots getting louder and louder. He started reaching for his blaster, ready to push the others against the wall and start firing. There was no way he was going to go down without a fight.

Then light began to flicker into the tunnel, slowly filling it as the boulders lifted into the air and parting before them. He didn’t even think about it as he moved aside and started ushering people through the opening. They might need cover fire and he was not going to let anyone else die. Not if he could help it. He had tried to get Finn to move too, but Finn had hung back, pulled out his blaster to offer cover fire. The storm troopers had appeared as the last of the resistance leaders were coming into view. General Organa had been near the end. He’d seen a flash of light from behind them. Then she’d fallen. 

In that moment, he’d frozen. He’d watched General Organa hit the ground, fear shooting through him like a punch to the gut. He'd never experienced anything like it and it had rooted him to the spot. It hadn't rooted Finn though. He'd run back to try to reach her. A second bolt of light, and he'd fallen, too.

For a second, he had only been able to stare at his fallen lover. Then the anger had hit. The blinding, crushing anger. He'd started towards them, but someone else had grabbed him and pulled him back. He'd fought hard against the hands trying to drag him away until he felt something stab into his shoulder. Dizziness had overtaken him and the hands holding him had started dragging him away. He'd fought and fought, but the darkness had been stronger. His last sight had been Finn and General Organa’s bodies as the stormtroopers had swarmed over them.

“Finn,” whispered Poe, his hands gripping the sheets beneath him as tears sprang to the corners of his eyes. “And Leia. General Organa.”

“I’m sorry Poe,” whispered Rey, her hand coming to cover his hand. His head snapped up, meeting her own tear-filled eyes. Of course, Rey had been just as close to Finn as he had. Possibly closer. She would feel the loss just as much as he did. “I’m so sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault,” muttered Poe, releasing the sheets forcefully with one hand to wrap his arm around her in a half hug. He tried to press down on the anger and despair clawing at his insides, but the crawl of it didn’t dissipate. It pressed against his chest, his heart and his soul. “It was mine. I wasn’t fast enough. I wasn’t alert enough.”

“Poe,” murmured Rey, shaking her head as she leaned backwards a little to meet his gaze. “No, it wasn’t your fault. It’s the First Order’s fault. They’re the ones who killed them.”

The truth of her words echoed in the anger and grief that seemed to fill him. It was true, it was their fault. And his. He didn’t protect them, but he wouldn’t have had to if it weren’t for the First Order. If it weren’t for Kylo Ren and his damn general, Hux. Their thirst for power.

One of Rey’s hands slid against his shoulder, gripping him tightly. “Poe.”

 

He blinked, eyes returning to hers, brown meeting hazel. He couldn’t form words though; he didn’t know what to say. What could he possibly say in that moment? What could he say that wouldn’t come out hateful or angry?

“We’re going to get through this Poe,” promised Rey gently, her fingers squeezing his shoulder. “I’m still here. We’re both alive and we’ll defeat the First Order. I promise.”

He couldn’t do more than nod, his throat tightening as the grief settled further, threatening to overwhelm him. She must have seen it, because she kissed his forehead gently before standing. “Rest, Poe. I need to fly the Falcon. I’ll come back later to check on you.”

Then she was gone, the door to the bunk sliding shut behind her. Silence filled the room, broken only by the pounding of his blood in his ears. 

Tears filled his eyes in the wake of her departure, the grief momentarily overtaking the anger. They ran down his cheeks, soaking the blanket as his shoulders shook with his silent sobs. Finn was gone, the man he loved so much, torn away in a second. And Leia, the woman he’d looked up to like a mother after his own had passed, was gone, too. They were both just… gone.

Anger crawled up his spine, replacing the grief in his chest. Anger at himself for not protecting Leia and Finn. Anger at Kylo Ren for causing all of this.

It flowed through his veins, burning everything else in its wake, and he latched onto it. Anger was better than the soul-crushing grief beneath it that threatened him. Anger he could use.

And he would use it. He would bring Kylo Ren to his knees, make the man beg for his life. It was the least that bastard deserved and Poe was just the man to deliver it.

Above, the light embedded in the ceiling flickered and cracked.

\--------------------------

Smoke choked him. A metallic taste filled his mouth. His ears rang with the echo of a cry, a last shout before death had claimed the monster at his feet. The scent of dust and metal filled his nose, nearly choking him with the smoke as he attempted to regain his breath.

Blood pooled on the floor, slick and viscous. He thought it might be on his face, too, the smell and taste of it were so strong. It nearly choked him, probably would have if he weren't still so keyed up. 

His heart was still pounding, breathing harsh and hands shaking as his eyes remained locked on the body scattered in pieces across ground before him. A man he'd cut down in rage with the lightsaber humming in his hand; a weapon he didn't know how to use. Black fabric clothed the body, now stained with blood and broken only by pale skin and an unruly mop of dark hair. Ren. Ben. His once friend turned monster, now dead by his hand. The thought struck a cord and he had to look away, his eyes trailing across the floor.

Once shiny and black, a mark of the heart of the First Order, the smooth onyx colored metal was dulled by dust and burn marks. Scorches covered the ground, a testament to the battle that had just occurred; short scorch marks from his blaster and long gashes courtesy of the two lightsabers in the room. One was shaped like a cross and lay by its Master's unmoving hand. The other rested in his hand, a blue blade casting light in a circle and catching the glint of blood where it pooled on the ground feet from Ren’s body.. 

Long strands of dark brown hair mixed with the red, breaks in the otherwise shiny surface. Long dark hair. Rey’s hair. Hair he could follow back to her pale face and lifeless eyes. Eyes he could no longer meet. Another loss, another blow, courtesy of the man who lay dead at his feet. Ren had cut Rey down, despite the fact she had done nothing but try to protect him. Rey, the only one left he could lean on. The one person holding him together.

Dings echoed around the room, small cracks as chunks of debris and metal flicked against remaining structures, made airborne by his rage. Ren lay dead at his feet, retribution for all he'd taken from him. Jessika. Snap. His squadron. His friends. 

The General.

Finn.

Rey.

He'd taken them all from him. Taking Ren’s life didn't help though. The anger, the rage, still crawled beneath his skin. Something shattered nearby, like the light in the room had when he'd woken on the Falcon from the drugged sleep that had been forced on him. 

Killing Ren hadn't taken away the pain. There was no sense of accomplishment, no relief. The darkness still hovered there, embracing him. Calling to him. Daring him to draw more blood. To make every member of the First Order suffer as he had been forced to.

It called to him as he stood surrounded by the blood of those he knew with a borrowed lightsaber in his hand, the blade flickering from blue to red.


End file.
